Urban Falls
by PaxRomaDacia
Summary: Gravity Falls is far from normal. But when the town gets new visitors, they start to cause quite a ruckus in the town. Who are they? What are they? Are they friend? Foe? Or just a public nuisance? Find out in yet another Strange tale of Gravity Falls.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: Hey guys if you ever read my first fanfiction about Gravity Falls, expect this one to be a heck more different than the other one. One day I thought to myself, Fudge it, I want to make another story that popped randomly in my head. I will tell this right now. This story is more comedy based and I plan to put three characters in Gravity Falls but they're not from other copyrighted material nor are they OCs for Gravity Falls. They are actually the main characters from a comedy series that I am writing myself. Don't worry if you don't know who they are because I'll show who they are and their personalities and show what their world is like in this chapter and develop it in later ones. I hope you enjoy this story.

Chapter 1: The Problem with Books

New York City is a typical place for typical people to do their typical activities in. Only thing is that New York City is not as typical as you think it is. There are actually a lot of things wrong with New York City, mostly the people. Sure they may seem normal on the outside, but when you get to know these people, the more and more you learn about them, the more and more you start to realize 'Guess what? Everyone is a looney.' It doesn't matter if its cops, lawyers, doctors, drug addicts, gangsters and even your pets (yes your pets) everyone is crazy in their own special way. And three friends living under the same roof is no exception.

Its 8:00 A.M. in New York and the sun is shining bright in the sky, signaling a new day's beginning. We see a suburban house in Astoria where the three friends live in. It's not the best looking house ever seen but it's still a home for them. We then see the light shining bright in the bedroom of the house as an alarm clock starts to ring. A furry paw taps the clock to shut the alarm off and we see a wolf stretch his arms and get out of bed, rubbing his eyes as he does so.

He has silver gray fur and stands about six feet tall and still keeps many features of a regular wolf, despite the fact that he is bipedal. He yawns and gets up from his bed and proceeds to walk out of his bed and to the hallway. He then opens the door leading downstairs and closes it and walks downstairs. When he gets down, the wolf sees his friends asleep, one on the couch and the other on the floor.

His friend on the couch is a vulture no more than five feet and has a coat of black feathers covering him. He too has many features of a regular vulture but is bipedal as well and is drooling on the couch. The friend on the floor is a bipedal hyena with black spots on his yellowish-gray fur and is sprawled on the carpet.

The wolf just ignores the sight and sighs to himself.

"Just ignore them Ralph, maybe they'll stay like that." Whispered Ralph.

Unfortunately for Ralph, the vulture and hyena start to wake up as soon as he said that.

"I have to stop saying that." Whispered Ralph to himself.

The vulture then got up and waved to Ralph.

"Good morning sunshine." Said the vulture.

"Morning Lenny." Said Ralph.

Lenny then walked up to Ralph in the kitchen and sat down on a chair at the kitchen table while the hyena stood up and walked to the kitchen.

"Morning guys." Said the hyena with a cheerful tone.

"Morning Spot." Said Ralph while Lenny just barely waved back not even looking at Spot.

Spot sat down next to Lenny while Ralph grabbed a coffee cup and put it in the coffee machine and put a mug under it. Ralph's head then suddenly started to hurt and went to get a glass of water.

"Hangovers are a bitch aren't they?" Said Lenny slyly while Ralph groaned at Lenny's comment.

"I'm not in the mood for your crap Lenny." Said Ralph.

"Oh come on, don't tell me you didn't have any fun at your birthday party." Said Lenny.

"I did have fun. It's just that I have a job to go to in the morning, unlike you." Said Ralph as he got pills and dissolved them in his glass and drank it.

"Jobs are overrated. Besides, who's going to take care of Spot if I'm gone?" Said Lenny as he gestured to Spot who was gnawing on his arm.

Lenny then slapped Spot on the back of his head which made Spot stop what he was doing.

"Owww. What was that for?" Asked Spot.

"For being an idiot." Said Lenny.

"Oh okay." Said Spot as he started gnawing on his arm again.

"See what I mean?" Said Lenny.

Ralph just rolled his eyes and drank his water. Ralph thought back to what happened last night, whatever he could remember that is. The only things Ralph could remember is that he was at Manhattan with Lenny and Spot along with two other friends he couldn't remember and that they went to a bar to celebrate his 32nd birthday. The last thing he could remember was that he took a drink with Lenny and Spot and that's about it. Spot then moaned in pain and covered his head with his paws.

"My head hurts. It hurts so much." Said Spot.

Ralph then gave Spot his glass of water and Spot drank it while Lenny just stared at the scene unamused.

"Oh suck it up wimp you don't see me crying over a…OH GOD IT HURTS!" Said Lenny as he snatched the water from Spot and drank it.

Ralph just rolled his eyes at the scene and got his coffee. When Lenny finished drinking the water, he gave it to Spot who then started to lick the inside of the glass for any more water.

"Okay I'm bored. I'm just gonna watch T.V. while you make me breakfast." Said Lenny as he walked back to the couch.

"I'm not making you breakfast. Do it yourself." Said Ralph.

"I throw you a birthday party and you have the audacity to tell ME to make my own breakfast? You selfish prick." Said Lenny

Ralph scoffed at Lenny's hypocritical comment.

"Selfish? All you do is sit around the house or leave it with Spot all alone in here just so you can make a quick buck, illegally, and only for yourself." Said Ralph.

"I share the cash." Said Lenny as he sat down on the couch.

"No, you don't. And that's because you either lose it to other criminals, you already spent it on something stupid, or I stop you from making anything in the first place, like what happened two months ago." Said Ralph.

"Are you still mad about that? It was two months ago." Said Lenny.

"You grew marijuana in the backyard." Said Ralph raising his voice.

"So?" Said Lenny unconvinced.

"Then you made the backyard catch on fire." Said Ralph raising his voice higher.

"So?" Said Lenny still unconvinced.

"The house almost burned down!" Said Ralph angrily.

"Shit happens." Said Lenny nonchalantly.

Ralph was not in the mood to argue and breathed deeply to calm himself down.

"Can I have waffles please?" Asked Spot kindly.

"Sure Spot." Said Ralph in a friendlier tone.

Lenny turned his head around to face Ralph actually making Waffles for Spot.

"What the fuck man? Why do you make breakfast for him? All he does is act like a retard." Said Lenny.

"Because Spot has manners, unlike you" Said Ralph pointing at Lenny.

"Manners are for women. Men are allowed to be rude as much as they want to be." Said Lenny.

"And I wonder why you don't have a girlfriend." Said Ralph sarcastically.

"I know right? The ladies don't know what they're missing." Said Lenny.

"Oh they know what they're missing." Said Ralph as he got Spot's waffles and handed them to Spot on a plate.

"Thank you Ralph." Said Spot kindly.

"You're welcome." Said Ralph while Lenny mimicked his friends.

Lenny then turned back to the T.V. to reach the remote. Before Lenny could get the remote, he realized that it was on the floor instead of the table.

"Hey Ralph? Could you get the remote for me? Please?" Said Lenny in a fake polite tone.

"Its' right there Lenny." Said Ralph.

"Oh come on I asked politely this time." Said Lenny.

"Lenny." Said Ralph raising his voice.

"Okay, okay. Sheesh. Why do I have to do all the work?" Mumbled Lenny as he went to pick up the remote.

Before he could reach it however, something else caught his eye. Right next to the remote was an old book which made Lenny curious. Lenny grabbed the book instead and saw that it had no title and the cover had a large eye on it instead.

"Hmmm. Mysterious." Said Lenny curiously as he observed the book. "Oh well." Said Lenny as he threw the book backwards.

The book flew from the air until it head Spot right on his head. Spot then looked down on the floor and saw the book Lenny threw away and picked it up. Spot stopped eating and swallowed his waffles and opened the book to see what was inside it.

"Hey Ralph? I found something." Said Spot.

"What is it?" Asked Ralph sipping his coffee.

"I found a book that hit my head." Said Spot while Ralph gave a look at Lenny struggling to reach for the remote.

Ralph shook his head at the sad sight as Spot gave Ralph the book to read. Ralph looked at the book and raised his eyebrow at the curious sight because he never knew there was a book like this before. Ralph's curiosity only grew when he opened the book and saw cryptic images of strange creatures and objects.

"Lenny? Where did you find this?" Asked Ralph.

"Find what?" Responded Lenny.

"The book you threw at Spot." Said Ralph.

"Oh that book. It was just lying on the floor, nothing important." Said Lenny.

"Well come check it out. I don't think it's an ordinary book." Said Ralph as Lenny got up from his couch and groaned.

"Ugggh. Why won't you let me be?" Complained Lenny as he was walking towards Ralph.

"Stop complaining and take a look." Said Ralph as Spot got up and walked up towards Ralph to see what was in the book as well.

"Not you Spot. Only grownups are allowed." Said Lenny as Spot crossed his arms in frustration.

"I'm twenty four." Said Spot.

"And I'm thirty. You're not." Said Lenny.

"Guys. Not now." Said Ralph seriously as Spot stuck his tongue at Lenny while Lenny flipped the bird (no pun intended) at Spot.

Spot and Lenny then looked at what Ralph was reading as he was reading out loud what was in the pages.

"Throughout my life, I've discovered several strange and unusual occurrences ranging from ancient artifacts to mythological creatures. I've also uncovered secrets that not even humanity itself can even comprehend. Sometimes they- Before Ralph could finish Lenny interrupted him mid-sentence.

"BOOOOOORING!" Said Lenny as he grabbed the book from Ralph and started to flip the page himself.

Eventually, Lenny stumbled upon a page in the book that interested him, slightly, and read the words out loud.

"I have managed to discover blah and that the blah and also insert boring shit here. What's so cool about this book anyways? Why are we reading it? Why am I reading this? Why am I reading at all?" Said Lenny.

Ralph then grabbed the book back from Lenny and scolded him.

"Can't you see what this is Lenny? You just found a book that probably has every answer to the supernatural we could have." Said Ralph.

"What's so great about that?" Asked Lenny not convinced.

"What's so great about that? We just found a book that can change the way that everyone thinks and all you can say is that?" Said Ralph.

"There's no fun in knowing that kind of thing. Spoils the mystery." Said Lenny.

"Spoils the m- You know what? Forget it. I'm just going to put this away and- Lenny snatched the book from Ralph before he could finish his sentence.

"Hold on for a sec, I found it so Finders keepers." Said Lenny as he flipped the pages for anything else in it. "Besides, there's nothing that could possibly grab my attention from this book." Said Lenny.

"Then why keep it?" Asked Ralph.

"Finders keepers that's why." Said Lenny as Ralph rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, I'm just going to get ready for work." Said Ralph as he finished his coffee and put the mug in the sink.

While Ralph went upstairs to get ready, Lenny flipped through the pages and found something actually interesting to read while Spot looked at what Lenny was reading.

"Oooooo, what's that?" Asked Spot curiously.

Lenny felt that Spot was too close for comfort and slowly pushed Spot's head away while reading the text out loud.

"I've managed to find a way to open portals to other dimensions my using supernatural chants, the only problem I have with them is that I don't know what dimension the portals will take me." Said Lenny reading the text. "Sounds risky. Why not?" Said Lenny.

"I don't know Lenny. That sounds like a bad thing to do." Said Spot worryingly.

"The only bad thing here is you, so shut it." Said Lenny.

Spot complied while Lenny read on.

"All you have to do is chant these words three times to open a portal to another dimension." Said Lenny as he saw the words. "Nope, too hard. Spot. Read them for me or I'll give you the gas, again." Said Lenny as he handed the book to Spot to read the words.

"LATROP EHT NEPO LATROP EHT NEPO LATROP EHT NEPO!" Chanted Spot.

After waiting awkwardly for a minute, nothing happened and Lenny threw his arms up in defeat.

"I knew it was bullshit! Never trust books. That's why I watch T.V." Said Lenny.

Before Lenny could walk back to the couch however, the ground began to shake and Spot and Lenny were pushed back by a strange force and knocked back to the couch. Ralph immediately ran down the stairs to see what happened and saw a rip in space and time forming a portal where Spot and Lenny were. Ralph then went to Lenny and Spot who were getting back up from the blast to see the portal in front of them.

"WHAT DID YOU DO!?" Shouted Ralph as he grabbed Lenny.

"I DIDN'T DO IT! IT WAS SPOT'S FAULT!" Shouted Lenny.

"I DIDN'T MEAN TO!" Shouted Spot as he started to cry.

"Great. You made him cry!" Said Ralph.

"But he did it, I swear!" Shouted Lenny.

"He doesn't know any better, he thinks like a child!" Shouted Ralph.

"Yeah, I think like a child!" Shouted Spot wiping his tears.

Enraged, Lenny tried to grab Spot but Ralph kept a good grip on Lenny so he wouldn't struggle that much. Lenny then kicked Ralph in his groin and started to tackle Spot. Ralph quickly recovered and grabbed Lenny by his back but Lenny managed to kick Spot into the direction of the portal and Spot fell in and disappeared in it.

"SPOT!" Shouted Ralph as he jumped in the portal to save Spot.

"Yes! Finally the house is mine!" Shouted Lenny.

Lenny then looked around the house and frowned.

"Oh damn it! There's no one to annoy. Guys wait for me!" Shouted Lenny to the portal as he jumped in the portal after Spot and Ralph.

The portal then closed suddenly after Lenny jumped in and everything was back to normal in the house.

Lenny was passing through a vortex between time and space faster than the speed of sound screaming off of the top of his lungs. He saw weird things while passing by such as melting clocks and for some reason, an isosceles triangle with one eye, a top hat and a bow tie waving to him. Lenny then sped through the vortex and into another portal and exited through it. Lenny was then falling down from the sky. The last thing he could see was a sign that said 'Welcome to Gravity Falls' and everything went pitch black when he hit the ground.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravity Falls. I do own the characters Lenny, Ralph and Spot.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Hey guys, just want to say that I'll still work on my other story so don't fret if this story will change anything. I also thought this chapter would be a little longer but I thought that what I came up with this chapter should go to the next one. Other than that, enjoy the story.

Chapter 2: The Benefits of Hitchhiking

Lenny started to open his eyes slowly, seeing two blurs in front of him but couldn't make out what they were. As he started to gain more vision, he heard distorted voices that called out his name.

"Lenny?" Said one of the voices.

"No mommy, I don't want go." Mumbled Lenny.

"I think he's tired." Said the other voice.

"I got an idea." Said the first voice.

Lenny then felt a sharp sting across his face and started to regain consciousness but not quite there yet.

"Lenny? Wake up." Said the first voice.

Lenny felt the same sting again on his face and managed to wake up to see blurs turn to Ralph and Spot.

"Lenny?" Said Spot.

"Oh great, Dumb and Dumber." Mumbled Lenny while Ralph sighed and got up with Spot.

Lenny then got up, rubbing his head in the process and looked around to see that they were in the middle of the forest. Confused, Lenny started to realize that they weren't home anymore, they weren't even in New York anymore.

"Uh, where are we exactly?" Asked Lenny.

"How am I supposed to know? You opened a portal to another dimension. I don't anything about other dimensions." Said Ralph.

"Well can you guess?" Asked Lenny.

"Hmm, let's see. We're in the middle of the forest with no food, no water, no shelter, and there's no sign of civilization." Said Ralph.

Lenny then took a look of his surroundings and fell to his knees raising his arms up in a dramatic fashion.

"NOOOOOOOOO! I'LL MISS MY FAVORITE SHOW!" Shouted Lenny which made Ralph quite angry at Lenny's reaction to the real situation.

"We're in god knows where and all you care about is not survival, but a stupid T.V. show!? You got to be fucking kidding me!" Shouted Ralph as Lenny regained his composure and dusted his feathers.

"I'm not worried about survival, we can just eat Spot. My cousin said hyena meat is pretty good." Said Lenny.

"NO! I don't want to be eaten!" Cried Spot.

"Too bad, that's the circle of life." Said Lenny.

"No one is eating anyone here! We just need to get out of here. Do you still have that book with you?" Asked Ralph.

"PHFFFT, of course I still have the book. It's right here." Said Lenny.

Lenny searched himself but could not find a single trace of the book anywhere, nor was it anywhere on the ground.

"Huh. I seemed to have misplaced it." Said Lenny casually while Ralph tried to cover his anger by closing his eyes and putting his paw on his face.

"You…misplaced it." Said Ralph under his breath, trying to hide the rage inside him.

"Let me check again- nope I totally lost it, oh well. I guess we'll have to live out the rest of our lives as forest hermits." Said Lenny shrugging his arms.

Ralph couldn't hold it anymore. He grabbed Lenny and started shaking Lenny angrily.

"You moron! How could lose the book? You had with you the whole time and you lost it? I'm going to fucking murder you!" Shouted Ralph.

"Relax Ralph, I have it under control. There was a sign that said 'Welcome to Gravity Falls, Oregon' so that's probably where we are." Said Lenny calmly.

"Relax? I'll show how to- wait you saw a sign?" Said Ralph calming down instantly.

"Yeah man, we're not just in the middle of the woods, there's got to be a town nearby. That whole survival thing was just me puling your leg." Said Lenny.

Ralph then let go of Lenny and dropped him down on the ground and took a deep breath, calming his temper, he would do that often with Lenny.

"Maybe we didn't go to another dimension at all. Where did you last see the sign?" Asked Ralph.

Lenny got up and pointed left and Ralph looked at where Lenny pointed.

"Okay so, we're not completely lost after all. We should go now." Said Ralph.

"Good plan. Spot? Carry me, I'm too tired to walk." Said Lenny while clapping for Spot to comply.

"But I don't want to carry you, you're a meanie." Said Spot.

"A meanie? I am the nicest mother fucker you will ever have the pleasure to serve. Now carry me or I'll kick your ass to kingdom come." Said Lenny.

"No! I'm not doing it." Said Spot putting his foot down.

"Heh heh, Spot? Now's not the time to start a revolution. We are in a dire predicament and- Lenny was interrupted when Spot blew a raspberry at Lenny which enraged him.

"YOU LITTLE- Said Lenny as he was about to pounce on Spot until Ralph stepped in between them to separate them from one another.

"Both of you stop it! This is how we got into this mess. We can settle this when we get to this, Gravity Falls. But right now you two play nice, Okay?" Said Ralph firmly.

Lenny and Spot nodded and Ralph signaled the two to walk east with him. Lenny and Spot complied and gave each other an anger filled glance and followed Ralph.

The group didn't take long to get to their destination and found the sign that they were looking for. Ralph then looked beyond the sign to see a town far in the distance, sighing in relief that civilization is closer than he thought.

"I can't believe I'm saying this but, you are actually a life saver Lenny." Said Ralph.

"You're welcome, I guess." Said Lenny while Ralph observed the road that lead to the town.

"Well then, I guess we're walking." Said Ralph.

"Wait a minute. Why don't we just hitchhike? It'll be much easier to get there." Asked Lenny.

"Because I want to keep everyone safe. Hitchhiking is dangerous, you know this." Said Ralph.

"I know it's dangerous, that's why it's fun to hitchhike." Said Lenny.

"You just want to hitchhike because you're too lazy to walk any further." Said Ralph.

"Your point?" Asked Lenny unconvinced.

"My point is that-

"Oh look there's one!" Interrupted Lenny as he stuck his thumb out to signal the car passing by.

"He's not going to stop, hitchhiking doesn't work that much anyways." Said Ralph.

As soon as Ralph said that however, the car stopped and backed up to the group,

"Ha! I was right again! In your face!" Exclaimed Lenny pointing at Ralph's face.

"Unbelievable." Said Ralph throwing his arms up in defeat.

"You owe me." Said Lenny grinning.

Ralph just sighed as the car pulled up to the group and the driver window opened. The driver is an old man that looked like he was eighty but was well built for his age. He had a suit on him along with a fez that had a strange symbol that made Ralph a little suspicious. The old man took a good look at the three and scratched his head in confusion.

"What's uh… what's with the Halloween costumes? You kids lost or something?" Asked the old man.

"First of all, I'm thirty years old. And second, we're not wearing costumes. This is what we really look like." Said Lenny annoyed.

The old man took a good look at the three again and laughed.

"You're crazy you know that?" Said the old man still laughing which made Lenny mad.

"Listen old man! We are not kids in costumes, we are just regular, anamorphic citizens trying to save our skins in this dark, cruel world known as the planet earth! If you don't give us a ride right now, I'll kick your ass out of the car and probably steal your wallet too." Said Lenny furiously which made the old man angry as well.

"Oh yeah?" Said the old man.

"Yeah!" Said Lenny.

Ralph and Spot were about to call it quits and just watch Lenny get the crap kicked out of him, as usual, when all of a sudden the old man started to laugh again which shocked everyone, even Lenny.

"I like your spunk kid. You're tougher than my nephew that's for sure. I'll give you and your friends a ride, free of charge." Said the old man as he unlocked the doors.

"Really? I mean…cool, cool." Said Lenny as he gave his friends two thumbs up, or feathers, whatever, while Ralph just stared, jaws dropped to the ground.

"I can't believe this is happening." Said Ralph in disbelief.

The group then got into the back of the car and closed the car door.

"So, you guys heading back into town?" Asked the old man.

"Actually, we're not from around here mister…?"

"Pines. Stan Pines."

"We need to find something like a phone or any form of communication. Do you know where we could go?" Asked Ralph.

Stan thought about dropping off these three at a telephone booth but then decided to take them to the Mystery Shack instead. He might as well scam these three for some cash, there were not that many tourists going to the Shack anyways.

"I know, I'll take you guys to my workplace. I have a phone there along with wonders and mysteries you've never seen before." Said Stan as the group of friends exchanged suspicious glances at each other.

"You're not going to rape us are you?" Asked Spot.

Stan widened his eyes in shock and paused for a moment.

"Wha- N-no no! God no! Why would you say that?" Asked Stan.

"Just drive mister Pines, he doesn't know any better. Didn't I tell you NOT to accuse strangers as possible rapists?" Said Lenny.

"You never said that!" Exclaimed Spot.

"Well I just did, have some fucking manners! Jeez." Said Lenny making Spot cross his arms in frustration.

"But what about stranger danger?" Asked Spot.

"Fuck that, I'm a rebel." Said Lenny.

"Oh boy." Said Ralph as Stan proceeded to drive the car towards Gravity Falls.

When the car finally drove into town, the group looked out the car windows to see the sights in Gravity Falls. There was not much to it, just a small, quiet town with people going on about their lives with nothing unusual going on. Although there were two cops running around a broken fire hydrant sprinkling water out of it, along with a man arguing with a woodpecker and an old man talking about monsters chasing him.

"This town kind of reminds me of home. Except with less pollution and litter." Said Lenny commenting on the town.

"So where exactly are you guys from anyway?" Asked Stan.

"We're from another diemen-

"New York! New York City." Said Lenny covering Spot's mouth.

"New York? What are you doing here all the way from New York?" Asked Stan as Lenny removed his hand from Spot's mouth.

"We wanted to see more of the country side for our vacation. I insisted that we would go to Oregon but it took a while because Ralph wanted to stay home and watch T.V." Said Lenny while Ralph gave Lenny a mean look.

"Good lie kid. Almost fooled me too." Said Stan.

"You can tell if I'm lying? How did you know?" Asked Lenny.

"Let's just say that my business skills specialize in that field." Said Stan.

"I like you mister Pines, and that means a lot because I hate people." Said Lenny which made Stan laugh.

"You're not too bad kid, you're like me. Except with the costume, seriously what's up with that?" Said Stan.

"It's not a costume, this is how I really look. Seriously." Said Lenny in a serious tone while Stan was still not convinced.

"Uh huh, sure." Said Stan.

Ralph shook his head at the dreaded thought that Lenny finally found someone similar to him. Actually, he was scared shitless. 'OH GOOD LORD, WHY?' Ralph thought to himself.

Stan finally managed to get to the Mystery Shack and parked his car. Everyone got out of the car and the three friends took a good look at the Shack. It looked old and run down, with the sign 'Mystery Shack' missing the S in Shack.

"Welcome to the Mystery Shack!" Exclaimed Stan.

Spot looked like he was impressed with the whole thing, Ralph looked like he saw a travesty and raised his eyebrow at the sight and Lenny just looked like he didn't care but whispered to Ralph.

"This looks like a pile of shit."

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls. I own Lenny, Ralph and Spot.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note: Sorry I took so long to upload a chapter, had to do a bunch of college crap and school work. And don't worry about my other story, I'll try to upload a chapter as soon as possible. Other than that, sit back and enjoy.

Chapter 3: Always read the Fine Print

Stan led Ralph, Lenny and Spot to the front door of the Mystery Shack gift shop and opened the door to enter first. Stan then shouted out in the gift shop.

"We got customers coming in!" Shouted Stan.

Stan went around the gift shop to inspect the area while the three friends walked inside. They saw all kinds of things for sale. Whether they were useless or somewhat noteworthy to look at it was on sale, even if the prices were outrageously high for the souvenirs on sale. Spot was overjoyed at what he saw and went all around the gift shop to look at the souvenirs while Lenny and Ralph looked around the gift shop.

"I looked at the prices of those souvenirs, wow. I mean WOW. The economy in this town must be down the drain." Said Lenny.

"I know right? Those prices are probably illegal for all we know." Said Ralph.

"This Stan guy is a lot cooler than I thought." Said Lenny happily while Ralph rolled his eyes.

"I'm going up to the counter to ask where the telephone is, I can't seem to find it anywhere. Watch Spot for me so he doesn't break anything." Said Ralph while Lenny looked at Spot playing with some bobble heads.

"Relax man, I got it under control." Said Lenny.

Ralph nodded and walked up to the counter while Lenny took another glance at Spot stacking hats on his head, giggling while he does it.

"Idiot." Said Lenny as he looked towards the other direction to see some kind of museum that Stan was inspecting. "What the hell is that?" Said Lenny as he went to the museum, leaving Spot alone, again.

Ralph went up to the counter and saw a red head girl with a lumber jack hat on, reading a magazine with her feet up on the counter. Ralph could tell by the look on the girl's face that she really didn't care too much about her job. He could relate with her position though, Ralph's job was pretty boring too, being stuck in a cubicle typing up paperwork all day would make anyone bored. It almost made him miss his old job, almost. 'No. Not after that.' Thought Ralph shaking away that nasty thought and spoke up to the girl.

"Excuse me? Miss?" Asked Ralph politely.

The girl looked away from her magazine and put her feet down and widened her eyes at the sight.

"Cool costume dude." Said the girl.

"Why does everyone keep saying that? Never mind, do you have a telephone I could use around here? I need to call someone." Asked Ralph.

"Telephone? We don't have any telephones around here." Said Wendy.

"But your boss said that you had a telephone around here." Said Ralph.

"Oh you mean Stan? That's just another one of his con tricks he uses to get people to come here." Said the girl.

"Con tricks? Oh great, that explains the outrageous prices here. Only a con artist would charge this much and somehow manage to keep this place afloat." Said Ralph.

"Probably. You can use my cell if you need to make that call." Said the girl as she handed Ralph her cellphone.

"Thank you so much miss." Said Ralph.

"Just call me Wendy. It's on my nametag." Said Wendy in her usual chill attitude.

"Sure thing Wendy. By the way, name's Ralph." Said Ralph as he dialed a number on Wendy's cellphone.

Meanwhile, Spot was wandering around looking at more souvenirs when all of a sudden, a twelve year old girl popped out of nowhere in front of Spot.

"Hi there!" Said the girl in a cheerful tone.

"Hello!" Said Spot in a cheerful tone as well.

"My name's Mabel. What's your name?" Asked Mabel.

"Spot, because I have spots on me. See?" Said Spot as he pointed on his spots which made Mabel giggle.

"Aww, you're adorable." Said Mabel.

"Yay! I'm adorable." Said Spot.

Mabel looked at Spot's fur and was curious about it as she held her hand out to touch it.

"Is your fur real? Because that's pretty cool for your costume." Asked Mabel.

"Sure!" Said Spot as Mabel felt Spot's fur and was fascinated by it.

"Wow! It's like your fur is part of you." Said Mabel.

"It is. I'm a hyena." Said Spot while Mabel laughed with Spot joining in.

"Yes you are a hyena." Said Mabel.

Waddles then walked up to Mabel and she picked the pig up to show Spot.

"This is my soul mate Waddles. Isn't he just the cutest?" Said Mabel while Spot gasped at the pig.

"Piggy!" Said Spot as he petted Waddles who accepted Spot's affection.

"He likes you already. Want to be friends?" Asked Mabel.

"Yeah! I like friends." Responded Spot who gave Mabel a high five.

"You want to play with me, Waddles and my other friend Soos? My grunkle Stan let me go early from work today." Said Mabel.

"Anything for my new friend." Said Spot as Mabel put Waddles down and grabbed Spots paw and went outside, with Waddles in tow.

Meanwhile, Lenny was busy walking around the Mystery Shack's museum and saw several strange sights around it. He saw abnormal exhibits such as the 'Six pack o' lope', 'horse riding a horse', and 'The Sascrotch'. Lenny stared at the Sascrotch exhibit for a while and pondered about this museum.

"Huh, why didn't I think of this in the first place?" Said Lenny.

Lenny continued to walk around until he bumped into a twelve year old boy with a blue and white pine tree hat sweeping the floor with a broom.

"Hey watch it kid, I'm walking here." Said Lenny annoyed.

"Sorry about that sir, it won't happen again." Said the kid picking up the broom from the floor.

The kid then paused to look at Lenny and his mouth dropped wide open at the sight of Lenny while pointing at him. Lenny raised an eyebrow at him, confused as to why the kid is staring at him in shock.

"What's wrong with you kid? Is there something on my face? Because it's rude to point at people, except if it's me doing it." Said Lenny.

All of a sudden, the boy whacked the broom on Lenny's head which made Lenny jump back in pain.

"Ow! What the hell is your problem?" Said Lenny angrily while the boy held the broom against Lenny like a spear.

"Stay back! I've dealt with plenty of monsters like you before." Said the boy.

"Monster? People may call me an asshole but a monster? I'm mean sure I do evil things a lot but- Lenny was interrupted by the boy hitting him on the head with the broom again.

"If I can jump through a giant robot, then you shouldn't be that bad you bird thing." Said the boy.

"Are you on drugs kid?" Said Lenny before he got his head hit by the boy's broom again and again.

Lenny then started to run away after taking a couple more hits from the boy, who chased after him. Lenny then ran back to where the gift shop while the boy kept hitting Lenny, as if he was a pest that needed to be scooted out of a house.

"Help! This kid's on drugs or some shit! Ow!" Screamed Lenny.

Lenny kept running all over the room like a frightened rat from the boy while Wendy and Ralph just stared at the scene before them. Wendy was about to leave the counter when Ralph held his paw up to signal Wendy to stop.

"Hold on a minute, not yet." Said Ralph.

Wendy complied and after a few more seconds, Ralph stepped in to stop the wild goose. Lenny was cornered and the boy lifted the broom to hit him. Before the broom could come down, Ralph grabbed the broom from the boy from behind and dropped it on the floor. The boy turned around to see Ralph and was about to run when Ralph grabbed the boy from his shoulders, making the boy struggle, and kneeled down at the boy's eye level.

"Easy there kid. You don't have to be scared, you'll be fine." Ralph said calmly.

The boy then calmed down after seeing Ralph not trying to harm him in anyway and stopped struggling while Lenny stopped cowering from the corner to see Ralph with the boy. Lenny then got up and walked up to Ralph to confront him.

"What the hell are you doing? You should be kicking this kid's ass right now!" Said Lenny angrily while Ralph looked back at Lenny with a stern look on his face.

"He's only a kid. That's child abuse and assault." Said Ralph sternly.

"No, it's called a preemptive strike against kids who lost their fucking mind!" Shouted Lenny.

Wendy went up to the boy to see how he was doing.

"Dipper, are you okay?" Asked Wendy to the boy.

"Y-yeah I'm fine Wendy." Said Dipper.

"What about me? I just got attacked by a child and you're asking him if he's okay?" Said Lenny.

"He's a child Lenny." Said Ralph while Lenny just scoffed.

Stan then came in the room to see what was going on.

"What the heck happened here?" Asked Stan.

"Oh thank god it's you. This little brat thought that I was some kind of monster and was beating me with a broom. You got to throw this kid in jail or something as punishment." Said Lenny.

Stan took a moment to look at Dipper and then at Lenny and started to laugh which made Lenny really pissed off now.

"HE beat YOU up? Hah, now that's rich." Said Stan as he continued laughing at Lenny, making him furious. "I guess you're not as tough as I thought." Said Stan still laughing at Lenny.

"Fuck you!" Said Lenny which made Stan stop laughing.

"Take it easy uh?"

"Lenny."

"Lenny. You don't have to be embarrassed." Said Stan.

"Really?" Said Lenny.

"Nope! It's still hilarious." Said Stan who began to laugh again.

Lenny only twitched his eye out of anger while Ralph went up to him and put his paw on his shoulder.

"Lenny, just let go of it. It'll pass." Said Ralph.

"Then we're leaving, right now." Said Lenny.

"And where will you go?" Asked Ralph.

"I'll go uh, um, I don't know." Said Lenny.

"Well we can't go anywhere really. I tried calling everyone we know and apparently the numbers I called don't even exist so we might be stuck here in a, you know what, after all." Said Ralph.

"You mean another dimension?" Said Lenny.

"Wait, another what? Asked Dipper.

"Shut up kid, no one asked you." Said Lenny.

"Lenny." Said Ralph sternly which made Lenny roll his eyes in response.

"It's a long story kid." Said Ralph.

"A story you won't find out you little- Before Lenny could finish his sentence, Ralph flicked Lenny's head to stop him from finishing his sentence, knowing what he was going to say.

"What was that for?" Asked Lenny annoyed.

"You know why." Said Ralph.

Spot then came inside from the front door with Mabel, Waddles and a large man with a question mark shirt.

"Hi guys! I made new friends!" Said Spot to Ralph and Lenny while motioning his arms to Mabel with Waddles in her arms and a large man with a question mark on his shirt.

"Friends with benefits?" Asked Lenny which made Ralph elbow Lenny on his arm.

"That's great Spot, good for you." Said Ralph.

Stan then cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.

"Listen guys, I'm sorry about what happened here, I promise it won't happen again." Said Stan sincerely.

"Really? Then I demand compensation for what happened here." Said Lenny.

"Not to worry. You fellas seem to have trouble getting out of the town right?" Asked Stan.

"Yeah, why do you care?" Responded Lenny.

"Well, I want to help out with your little problem so here's the deal. I'll let you three stay here at the Shack until you can manage to find a way to get out of town." Said Stan which made Ralph suspicious.

"I don't know, after what's happened here I'm not sure I could trust you." Said Ralph.

"Yeah, he's got a point. Why should we trust you?" Said Lenny.

"Because I have a contri- I mean contract for you to sign that says you can stay here for free." Said Stan as he pulled out a contract out of his pocket. "Everything you need to know is in here. All you need to do is sign it." Said Stan handing a pen to Ralph.

Ralph took the pen cautiously from Stan and started to read the contract.

"Well, it looks official so good enough for me." Said Lenny as he took the pen from Ralph and signed the contract before Ralph could finish writing.

"Lenny no!" Shouted Ralph.

But it was too late. The contract had been signed and Stan began to laugh.

"Hah! That was too easy. Now you all work for me, free of charge." Said Stan which made Ralph and Lenny gasp in shock while Spot cheered.

"Yay! I get to stay with you guys more!" Shouted Spot with joy to Mabel and the large man, giving them high fives.

Ralph then turned to Lenny with a boiling rage evident on his face.

"You moron! Look what you've just done!" Shouted Ralph.

"Oh no! I have to work now? Noooooooooo!" Said Lenny in a dramatic fashion.

"That's right. Starting tomorrow, you're working for me." Said Stan.

"You can't do this to us! This is illegal!" Shouted Ralph.

"Except it is in this town, so tough luck kid. Your shifts start tomorrow so until then, see you later." Said Stan walking away. "Oh and Soos? A light went out in the bathroom so you mind fixing it?" Said Stan to the large man.

"No problem mister Pines." Said Soos. "Sorry dudes, I am needed elsewhere." Said Soos to Mabel and Spot.

"Alright Soos, we'll let you get to work." Said Mabel.

"Bye Soos!" Said Spot as he waved to Soos walking away.

"I got to go outside for a second." Said Ralph as he went outside and closed the door.

"Dude, that's rough." Said Wendy to Lenny.

"I know right? Work. Can you believe it?" Said Lenny.

Wendy just rolled her eyes and went back to the register while Dipper went to talk to Lenny.

"Listen uh Lenny? I want to say that I'm-

"Sorry? Whatever man I don't care about that anymore. I just can't believe I have to work." Said Lenny.

"Okay then." Said Dipper as Mabel grabbed Dipper's arm.

"Come on Dipper, I want you to meet Spot. He's really nice." Said Mabel.

"Sure, why not?" Said Dipper as she and Spot left to the living room to chat.

Lenny just stood there in disbelief at everything that just happened and looked back to see Ralph come back surprisingly calm again.

"I'm back." Said Ralph.

"No shit Sherlock. Where were you?" Asked Lenny.

"I took a stroll in the woods and punched a hole in a tree." Said Ralph.

"That explains the splinters." Said Lenny pointing at Ralph's paw with splinters on it.

Ralph just sighed at Lenny's comment.

"Well look on the bright side, we'll probably have several fun misadventures in this nice little town of colorful characters. What could possibly go wrong?" Said Lenny.

Ralph just looked at Lenny for a few seconds and responded.

"With us? Anything."

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls. I do own Lenny, Ralph and Spot.


End file.
